Nervous

Today is the day! I didn't expect to write in here this morning, but I got up so nervous about today that I just find myself needing to.

I don't know why I'm nervous. I'm a little afraid of finding out exactly how bad my numbers are - weight, fat percentage, measurements, all of it. I'm a little nervous about being in a gym environment, because I've never really gone to a gym before - I've always worked out to videos in the privacy of my own home. So a fear of the unknown is here, for sure. But I've been told it's a very non-judgmental place, so I don't have to be afraid of people watching me with derision in their eyes.

Above all of it, though, I think there might be some trepidation because now I have to find out if I can really do this. It feels like this is the time where I'll really be giving it my all, and what if I don't succeed?

But that's not a good attitude, and the thing is, I know I can lose weight successfully - I've done it before. It's just that I was almost 20 years younger then. :P I lost 40 pounds when I was in 22, and kept most of that off until I was in my late 20s, then life got rougher, and the weight crept back on.

So yes, I can do this! I don't have to be this size for the rest of my life, I don't have to develop heart disease and diabetes like my Mom did, and I can live a long, healthy life.

Okay, pep talk over. Thanks for listening! I'll be back tomorrow with news of how tonight went!