The Truth is in the Picture

I have always hated having my picture taken. No matter my current weight or style, I never like the way I look in pictures (although the distance of some years can make me quite fond of those same pictures I hated when they were new). So imagine my joy when I had to pose for a picture at work today - a full body picture, showing all of my bad, bulgy parts.

The picture is for a workplace safety slideshow that our intern is putting together. The pictures were taken with my camera, so when we were done, I had no choice but to see that picture of myself, as I got them all on my computer and then on the intern's flash drive.

I.am.FAT. Oh man. There is a reason I avoid full length mirrors and pictures of myself. It's because they tell the truth. When I avoid them, I can live in denial, and enjoy a self-image that is much smaller.

And of course, I had to think that if I had just stuck with my diet last year, I would be at my goal weight right now, and I would have been nice and svelte in a pair of size 8 pants and a medium top (instead of my current 18 and extra large).

While that may be true, I'm willing to bet I would still have hated the picture. :D

My eating is still not under control. I did, however, roller skate two days this week - Tuesday and Wednesday - for about 45 minutes the first day, and almost an hour the second. Even with stops, that's pretty good, and I worked up a good sweat both days. I'm very happy that we're going to be doing this all summer (I'm thinking four days a week, when the gym is free, which it mostly will be). At least maybe I can be in better physical health by the end of the summer.

And who knows, maybe I'll get my eating under control, too. Maybe I won't hate the image cameras and mirrors show me quite as much by the end of 2010. We'll see!

Roller Girl

My friend Jamie and I had planned to skate on Tuesday and Wednesday this week - Tuesday didn't work out because an event was scheduled in the gym, but Wednesday worked fine! So at 4:45 or so I was sitting in the gym, blowing the dust and pet hair off my sad, neglected roller skates, slipping them on and tying them up.

Here are a couple of things I had forgotten about roller skating:

1. It requires your body to do actual work!
2. That work makes you breathe hard!
3. That work also makes your legs hurt like mad!

But what I didn't forget about roller skating is: it's mad amounts of fun. We need to find some way of having music in there while we're doing it, but it was a lot of fun skating around with Jamie (and his brother, once he got there to join us). I can't wait to do it again.

When I got home last night, I was exhausted and my legs were sore. But I'm so glad we decided to do it! This is exercise that I can happily do every day and never dread it. Once the semester is over and the students go home (four weeks from now), we'll be able to do it every day if we want. Yay! I love roller skating!

Roller Skating Fools

Sorry for the absence in here. I haven't really had anything good to say, so I've stayed away. I've been eating crazy - it's not under control at all. I can feel my weight coming back on. I haven't weighed myself, and I'm not looking to any time soon, but if I had to guess, I'd say I'm almost back to where I was last year when I first went on the diet that had me eventually lose 20 pounds. So yeah, I'm feeling pretty crappy about myself.

But! If I can't get my food under control quite yet, at least I can start exercising. And my friend Jamie and I are going to start having some FUN exercise. Two days a week, to start, we're going to strap on our roller skates and skate around the gym at work. :) We'll do it after work, after the students are done with their classes (there are classrooms under the gym). Once the semester is over, we may do it more often, but for now they have things scheduled in there so much that two days a week is pretty much all we can fit in.

So, yay! Fun exercise, coming up. I'll bring my yoga pants in to wear when doing it, so I won't be in my work clothes. And I love roller skating - it's the most fun.

I'm also planning on ordering the 30 Day Shred DVD. I think I'll have enough money to order it this week, but I haven't figured out my budget yet. It might have to wait until next payday. But I'll get it, and I'll start doing that eventually, too.

And the food will get back under control soon, I'm sure. It has to!