A Fresh Start

Today is the day! Jim and I got our starting weights, and we're starting to eat healthier and less as of today.

Boy did we have fun during our holiday vacation, though. Ha! So much junk food passed through my lips that I actually started getting sick of sugar yesterday, and started wanting some "real" food - something more substantial and healthy. That didn't stop me from eating all the junk I could scarf down, though. :)

But today I'm back on track. I've got my food figured out for the day, and even though I had my afternoon snack an hour and a half ago, I'm already hungry for dinner. It'll take a while for my body to adjust to eating less, though, so that's fine. After work I'm going to the gym and using the elliptical for half an hour, plus cool down. I'm being active in Spark People again, entering my food to make sure my calories don't climb too high, and I'll be entering my exercise there, too. I also set up my beginning weight and I'll record my weight loss there every week. I do need to get my measurements, though. I also joined a group on SP that will do 30 minutes of cardio five days a week (which I was planning on doing anyway) plus a 10 minute strength video, which is created by their site.

So I'm doing well so far, and I've got all the support and tools I need to make it happen - plus the motivation of my wedding, which is creeping ever closer! Eight months will go so quickly!

Oh, and here is where I get embarrassed and admit my starting weight for this, my latest (and hopefully final) attempt to finally drop this weight. I stepped on the scale this morning, and weighed 227.5.

I don't think the junk food binges were worth it, really. :)

Anyway, here I am, chronicling this again for 2011. Here's to a slimmer me by my wedding!

Reinstating Weigh-Ins

So, I have come to a conclusion, and I think it's one I've reached on this site before, but sometimes I have to learn things twice (or even more often than that).

I need accountability.

What does this mean? It means I need to start weighing in with someone. And since I'm not going to Weight Watchers or Nutri-System or any paid weight loss program, I'm going to weigh in to you. You can be my watchers, the people I need to not let down every week - the people holding me accountable.

Why have I decided this? Because I've been going to the gym for about two months now. I've felt myself getting a little bit stronger every time. I can feel my muscles tightening up in my abs and my thighs. I have one pair of work pants that feel noticeably looser right under my butt (which feels like a weird place to notice a difference, but I assume it's from doing the elliptical three times a week). But my weight? Hasn't changed nearly enough.

When I started at the gym, my trainer there weighed me at 230 pounds. That was in the afternoon, dressed in gym clothes, so my at home, in the morning, naked weight was probably about 228 or so. That's what I'll figure. My weight this morning? 224 3/4.

A 3 1/4 pound weight loss in two months is NOT ACCEPTABLE! I started this thing with 13 months to go until my wedding BBQ picnic, and now there are only 11 months. Time is slipping by, and I'm not doing the work I need to do to get into those size 8 Levi's (what I want to wear when I get married). So the work (well, the food work) starts now.

I hereby pledge to be here every Friday morning, weighing in. If I don't lose, I'll be honest and tell you if I haven't done well on food. You can feel free to chastise me, and I'll do better the next week. My wedding day is 11 months from Sunday. I can do it, and you can keep me honest and help me get there! :)

Not Much To Share

No entries for a while - I guess I haven't had anything to say. I had an entry idea kicking around in my head a week or two ago, but I didn't have time to work on it. It was about how it seems like I get hot easier now? And I'm not sure if that's a result of starting to workout, or if I'm approaching menopause age (41, not too young), or what. And then the weather cooled down to the 50s, and I stopped getting sweaty just walking around, so that idea isn't even pertinent anymore. :)

Things are coasting along pretty well, I guess. I have been horrible with my food - eating a ton of junk that I don't need. I've kept up the exercising, though. I couldn't go to the gym on Monday, because I forgot to put socks in my gym bag (I thought I would be wearing a pair, but then I wore flats that don't require socks), and I can't workout without socks, eww, gross. But I went home and used our treadmill, which sucks so I only did 11 minutes on it, and then I finished my time on the exercise bike. So at least I did still get my heart rate up and made myself sweat. I need to find my strength for the food, though. The junk has to go.

Really, what I need to do is make myself use the Spark People site again. I haven't been doing that, because I'm so sick of recording every little thing I eat. I might need to just suck it up, though.

I also need to start working out on Tuesdays and Thursdays at home. I haven't done that at all yet. I'm kind of ashamed of myself. (And that is why going to the gym the other three days is so important.)

So that's all the diet and exercise news I have to share, and it's really not much. :) Other than that, life is going fine, I guess. Work isn't being fun, and I really think I missed my calling in life big time. I should be working as a veterinary technician, or at least working in a vet office in some capacity. Animals are my passion - what I'm doing now isn't really even an interest. So that's something to work on changing in the future. For now, though, I feel kind of stuck where I am. I keep telling myself that I'm lucky to have a job. That makes me feel better sometimes (just not on those bad days).

Okay, boring entry over. Now you probably wish I'd stayed silent. :)

Wedding Countdown!

I woke up this morning dreaming about our wedding next year. I don't remember a lot of details, but I seemed to be stressing about the food - Jim is ordering Dinosaur BBQ, but what about the people who don't like that? Shouldn't we have burgers and hot dogs to cook on the grills, too?

First, isn't it awfully damn early to be stressing about details in a wedding that is going to be about the most low key wedding ever? I mean, damn.

Second, it may be too early to stress about wedding details, especially for a wedding that is going to be very short on "wedding" and longer on "fun," but it is NOT too early to stress about making my weight goal. So I added a handy dandy little timer to my sidebar. It's going to be there to remind me of how fast that wedding date is going to come!

Today is my first day back to the gym after being sick for the last week. It's also my first day back to counting calories on SparkPeople. I was good at working out before I got sick, but I haven't been doing good with food at all! It's time for that to change. This is one weight goal I don't want to miss!

And for further inspiration, I'm posting a before picture! Eek! Jim's Dad took the following picture of me with my new car, shortly after I got it. I'm aiming to be much slimmer than this by 9/10/11! Like, 90 pounds slimmer. :)

The State Fair Killed Me

I've been working out for three weeks at this point. Apparently, though, when you're as overweight as I am, three weeks isn't enough to make you able to walk around the New York State Fair for 3 1/2 or 4 hours without drastic consequences.

So yeah, Jim and I went to the State Fair on Sunday. We got there early (before the crowds). We walked. And walked. And walked. And walked. And sat and watched a draft horse competition (how they get six horses to work in unison on something so difficult is beyond me). And walked some more. And more. And more walking yet. We also ate inappropriate things, including one thing you can only find at a state fair - deep fried Twix bars, anyone? (My verdict - I would have rather skipped the batter and deep frying, and just eaten the Twix bar in its normal form, and I won't be repeating the experience.) But mostly we walked.

We left the fair and went to the mall for even more walking, but we were only there 45 minutes or so, I'd guess. Then we went to his parents' house and sat, and then we went home. By the time we got home, we were both wiped OUT. I actually took pillows and laid down on one of the futons and just didn't move again. When Jim got up, I asked him to bring me a blanket (it was chilly that day). He did. And then I finally did move, but only to the bedroom to watch a show on the DVR while laying in bed. I was crashed out.

I woke up yesterday feeling okay - sore, but not too bad. And then I moved the lawn. I have just over an acre, and on my riding mower it takes about an hour and a half to mow. When I got off after I finished the lawn, I was hobbling. My legs were SO SORE! Advil helped, but when they wore off, the pain came right back.

So yeah, apparently three weeks of working out does not prepare you for walking your legs off at the state fair, at least not if you're as overweight as I am. :) Lesson learned. Next year, though, that fair will be my bitch.

Also, I had that bone tired feeling after working out on Friday night, and I have it again right now (after walking halfway across campus and back once, and then all the way across and back at lunchtime). I'm wondering if my iron is low - I always have to have my blood tested twice when I donate blood, because my iron levels are low. I've only been turned away from donating for it once, but really, I should be on an iron supplement, I think. And iron gives you energy, right? Maybe I should talk to my doctor about that, hmm. In the meantime, I think I need to find iron rich foods that I can choke down without too much gagging. Any suggestions? (And yes, I do take a multi-vitamin, but apparently it doesn't give me enough iron. I should look at the vitamin aisle at Walmart - can you buy iron supplements? I bet you can. Maybe I'll get some next time I'm at the store.)

Enjoying Working Out? Me?

I haven't written in a while, but that's not out of any fear of relating bad news - I've actually been doing really well!

I'm on my third week of going to the gym three times a week, and it's going really well! I actually don't mind going, and the hour that I'm there seems to go by really quickly. I've been using the elliptical more than the treadmill - I like it a lot better. This week I added 10 minutes to the time I spend on it, so I'm up to 30 minutes at 120-130 strides per minute (I think it's per minute - it must be!), although the last couple of times I've done it, I've actually climbed up to about 134 strides. I work up a really good sweat while I'm on the machine. Yesterday by the time I was done I just wanted to go into the locker room and splash cold water on my face. I didn't, though, I just went over and did my weights.

The weights are starting to get a little easier, too. My arms were extremely weak going into this program, but they're slowly getting stronger. I could start doing two sets of 15 reps soon for most of them - all but the triceps. The strength in my triceps when I started must have been non-existent, because those are still HARD! I do 15 reps, and for the rest of the arm weights, I can do that without pausing, but on the triceps I'm resting and wishing for it to end by the time I'm on number eight. So hard! But they're slowly catching up to the rest of my arms, I guess.

The gym hours are changing starting next week, so going on Tuesdays and Thursdays won't be an option for me (they're closing at 3, and I don't get out of work until 4). I think I'm just about ready to add cardio to those two days, so since I can't do it there, I'll be having to do it at home. That's okay, though, because I have a few options there. I have our treadmill, which I hate but will do if I have to, I have Jim's exercise bike, and I finally bought the DVD of Jillian Michael's 30-Day Shred. I haven't worked out to it yet, but it's there for me. Maybe I'll try it out next Tuesday. If I do, I'll let you know how it is.

Anyway, so yeah - I'm actually enjoying the gym thing. Who knew? Change is possible after 40! :)

Gym!

I have completed my first night of working out! Woo!

I left work at 4:00 and went over there, and then changed into my workout clothes and went into the gym. I knew some of what to expect, based on the sheet he gave me on Friday, but it was nice to go through it for the first time and really start getting the routine in my head.

First he took my blood pressure and resting heart rate. My heart rate was 88, and my blood pressure was 128 over 86, I think. Then he gave me this thing to put on that monitors heart rate, and we went over to the elliptical machine. He showed me that the monitor I was wearing syncs up with the machine, so my heart rate was displayed on it (cool). He said we wanted my heart rate to get between 132 and 153 (I think). I got into the 140s and stayed there, so I guess that was good.

I did my 20 minutes, at a fairly light resistance, but then it's my first day. I was dripping sweat when I was done, though, so it definitely was a workout.

Then I had a five minute cool down on the elliptical, which brought my heart rate down to about 120, and then we went to the weight machines. He showed me how to set the weights (I need to wear my contacts while I workout, though - I don't like wearing my glasses when I'm getting all sweaty, and things are just slightly blurry without them), and then I did a lot of arm work - my arms are sore this morning. And I did some reverse crunches, and some leg things on the floor, and then he showed me how to stretch out the muscles I had worked, he took my heart rate and blood pressure (heart rate just over 100, blood pressure the same as when I started). And I was done!

So, yay! Now I know exactly what to expect. He'll make things harder on me as my body gets more used to it, and I'll have to increase the length of time I spend on cardio work and increase the number of repetitions I do on weight work, but I can get through this, no problem.

I have just under 13 months until I get married - I'll be in such good shape by then! I'm so glad I'm doing this program. :)

Gah! Effing Winter Anyway

Okay, first for my weigh-in. I told you not to expect big things this week, and I wasn't exaggerating. I spent what, a week and a half eating too much? Something like that. And I'm a champion weight gainer, so after four days of being good again, I'm only at 210 - 3/4 of a pound more than I was two weeks ago. I expected that, though, so I'm not upset. You misbehave, and you pay the price. It's simple.

But I've been really good this week, sticking to my calories every day and riding that exercise bike every night. I'll tell you right now, though, that I'm giving myself a pass on that bike tonight. Why? Here's why.

I don't know if I've mentioned in here before or not that I've been giving a woman from work a ride every day since the beginning of the semester, because she fell and broke her ankle. It was her left ankle, and she drives an automatic, so really she should have been fine to drive herself, but she's older (62) and a nervous person, and she didn't feel comfortable driving herself. Which is fine. I was fine picking her up every morning and dropping her off every night. We've had no problems at all the whole time. Until this morning.

It's snowy here this morning. The roads were covered in it, and so are the driveways. Her plow guy, for some reason, doesn't like to come plow her driveway unless she calls him. She has a driveway that goes uphill, and lives in a very windy area, so as you can imagine, her driveway gets pretty bad.

So, I get there, and look up the driveway, wondering if it's a good idea to pull up it, but I do anyway. I get to the top without any problems, and she asks if she can ride with me (she went to the doctor on Wednesday, and got the all clear to put her weight on her foot, so she actually drove herself yesterday, and I just stopped to make sure she got down her stairs and into her car okay - that was the plan for today, too). But this morning the car was covered with ice, and she panicked and didn't want to be standing around the car scraping it off - she was afraid of falling. Of course, if she had just gone out 20 minutes earlier and started the car and turned on the defrosters, there wouldn't have been any scraping to do, but whatever.

Of course I said fine, you can ride with me. And I tried to turn around to get closer to her, and also to get the car aimed nose first down the driveway. And I got stuck.

Fuck! I got out and used her shovel to clear the snow away from the tires, and actually got free. I couldn't get the car to drive back straight up, so I tried to back all the way down. Only I couldn't see where the driveway ended and the lawn began (that's a problem when the driveway HASN'T BEEN PLOWED), and I got stuck AGAIN. And this time no matter how much I shoveled, I couldn't get my car free. We had to leave it there, stuck in the snow. The poor thing.

I walked back up the driveway, hot and sweaty and tired, and we started her car, finally, and scraped off the ice, and I called work to say we were going to be late, and we managed to get her car out and get to work.

She's calling AAA to tow my car out of the snowbank, and her stupid fucking plow guy came and cleared the driveway (after we were at work), so I'll be able to drive home from her house.

But I definitely got my workout this morning, and if I don't feel up to riding that bike when I get home, I don't have to. Also, is it time to go home yet? Better yet, can it magically be later than that, so I'll just already be home, with my little red car in the garage, my pajamas on? Because that sounds amazing right now.

Sigh.

Anyway, back to the diet - I'm going to continue sticking to my calorie limit, and I'm going to continue to exercise every day, and we'll see what next Friday brings. I'm hoping for about 208.

Oh, also! I did so good last night! Jim called me on his way home and said he was at McDonald's, and he knew I was being good, but did I just want a small bag of fries or something? And I said no. I turned down McDonald's! Wow. I was proud of myself. (Also, I may have to have a double cheeseburger and fries on my next cheat day.)

Okay, that's all from me for now. I'm going to go wait for my feet, socks and pants to dry out. Have a good weekend!

I lied, I have more to say. While I was reading over all of the above, the woman whose driveway my poor car is stuck in came in to say that AAA won't come to tow the car without someone being there, so she told them to come at about 4:40 - after we've left work and gotten back to her house. But of course there's no guarantee they'll come right at 4:40, so I could be sitting at her house for a little while.

I really need my weekend now, please. Thanks.

Cyst News

I was supposed to have my cyst removed this Friday, but the doctor is going to be out of the office that day, so I had to reschedule. Now I'll be waiting until March 5th - only two more weeks, so that's fine.

Although I was kind of looking forward to getting it over with. :)

So, day one of behaving went really well! I stayed to the food I had scheduled for the day, and I rode the exercise bike for 15 minutes. The bike was harder than it has been, because Jim adjusted the tension on it - is that the right word? Anyway, he made it harder. I never touch the knob (it's Jim's bike, I don't want to mess up his settings), but apparently it was on like zero resistance, so he upped it. I did turn it back down a bit (he's in much better shape than I am), but I kept more on it than I've been feeling, and that 15 minutes seemed like it would never end! And when I was done, I was feeling out of breath and tired, which really, I should feel after a workout. So I was pleased with myself.

Today is day two! I have my food all planned for the day, for the most part. Dinner is a question mark, because Jim said he might get us Subway for dinner. If he doesn't, I'll have my last piece of leftover lasagna, so either way, I'll be happy. And I'll have enough calories left for either, so it won't matter which way we go.

I'm not looking forward to that bike tonight, though! :) I am, however, looking forward to watching the last night of the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show! I love dog shows. The working dogs are my favorite, and their group is tonight. Woo!

Cheat Day Heavy

I had two bad ideas yesterday. First was having a cheat day when I was going to be home alone all day. It means I basically spent the entire day eating while watching TV, eating while playing the Sims 3, eating while watching more TV, and oh yeah, eating while playing more Sims 3. And I did two loads of laundry and vacuumed the downstairs. That's about it. Oh, and I rode the exercise bike - for all of five minutes. Ha!

The second bad idea was going grocery shopping while I was hungry (hadn't eaten breakfast). As I'm sure you know, if you go grocery shopping while you're hungry, everything looks good. I ate xtra cheddar Goldfish, I ate chocolate chip cookie dough, I ate chocolate chip cookies, I ate frozen waffles, toasted and covered in maple syrup. Oy. I ate so much I had trouble falling asleep last night, I was so full (and kind of sick, honestly).

So now I will be spending the week attempting to reverse the damage. I didn't step on the scale this morning, and will be avoiding it until Friday, but let's just say that I'll be happy if I get down to 208 this week, because I know I gained weight yesterday.

Also, I think riding the exercise bike is good every so often, but I don't get that much of a cardiovascular workout from it. Maybe I just don't go fast enough, I don't know. I tend to get a better workout from videos, though, so I'm going to start cycling through some I have in my Netflix queue to watch instantly. If I do those for the rest of this month, three or four times a week, then I should be able to do the 30 day shred next month! I really want to test out Jillian Michael's claim that "you can lose up to 20 pounds" in one month while doing it! Not that I really expect to lose 20 pounds in one month, but I want to see how much I do lose.

I'm feeling kind of down on myself today, because I just ate SO MUCH yesterday. I feel like I'm spinning my wheels and not really accomplishing anything, even though I know that's not true. The weight may be coming off slowly, but at least it is coming off, and I'll keep up that steady forward progress.

That doesn't stop me from wishing it could all come off FAST, though. :P

If I do a video tonight, I'll let you know tomorrow how it went.

Baby Steps

Last night Jim rode the exercise bike while I was on the phone with my phone company, checking on our Internet service, which has been out since Sunday night. And when he got off, I GOT ON! I only did 10 minutes, but I told myself that was the minimum I could do, and that's what I did. But still, I did it, so woo!

Can you tell I hate exercise? I seriously have to force myself to just do 10 minutes. Hee. Oh well.

Also, since our Internet has been out, I've been estimating my calories in the evenings (I usually keep track online with sparkpeople). Last night I actually ended up eating 100 or so calories less than I usually do, and I didn't really miss it! Odd, but true. I was really hungry when I got up this morning, though.

Hopefully our Internet will be back on this afternoon (if we don't need a new modem, which I'm almost thinking we do), and if so, I'll be able to keep track again. And I'll also sit down and try to do 15 minutes on the bike tonight.

Baby steps, people - it's how all changes begin, don't you think? :)

February's Goals

A new month has started, and just like that I'm in month two of my effort to lose weight in 2010! I feel like January was pretty successful, but I also feel like I can do way better. So here are some goals for February!

First of all, I've been very bad on the weekends in January. I basically weighed in on Friday morning and immediately started eating whatever I wanted, and didn't stop until Sunday night. That makes three cheat days, if you're counting, and that's about two per week too many. So goal number one:

1. Limit myself to ONE cheat day per week. I'll decide in advance which day that is going to be, depending on what day Jim is going to be home, what we have planned, etc. That cheat day will probably always be either Saturday or Sunday. On the six non-cheat days I will stick to my daily limit of 1250-1550 calories.

Second of all, I have been very bad at exercising, in that except for a few simple exercises to loosen up my tight neck and shoulder muscles, I haven't done any exercising at all yet this year! Obviously that can't continue, because as much as I wish it wasn't so, exercise is a vital part of any weight loss endeavor. So goal number two for this month:

2. Exercise at least four days per week. I'll start out with at least 10 minutes on the exercise bike, since I've done nothing at all for so long. Once I start to get into better shape and can do more, I'll add more minutes every day. My goal eventually is to try Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred. I've heard that it's a killer, though, so I'll wait until at least March for that. February can be my training month (and if you know anything about this video, and think I should wait longer, please tell me - I don't want to push myself, but I do need to step up the exercising).

I'm not setting a weight loss goal for the month, because that kind of thing tends to backfire on me if I don't make it (i.e., I make a goal, don't reach it, and then overeat for a while to console myself). I'm getting closer to that ever elusive under 200 number, though, and I should be able to reach it in March, at the latest. Here's hoping!

Okay, two simple goals. If I stick to them, though, February can be a very successful month!

Ouch

Here's a no shit comment for you: when you haven't worked out much in the last month, doing 10 minutes of Pilates abs exercises will make you SORE.

Less of a no shit comment if you don't do Pilates: your abs will be sore, of course, but so will your thighs. Ouch!