New Year, New Me?

I was cleaning out the storage (junk) room in my house last week, and came across two things that really made me think. First, I found an old journal (diary) that I had written in 1996 and 1997. I read through a few entries, and found the same goals and hopes that I have now - to drop weight, to feel better, to look the way I know I can look.

Fourteen years later and I'm still aiming for the same, never reached, goal? Really? Fourteen years? And really, it's longer than that, of course, the journal I found just happened to go back 14 years.

And then I found two photo album pages that my Mom had put together. It was her own little progress album, in her weight loss journey - it made me realize that if she had been born in the computer age, she probably would have had a weight loss journal of her own, actually, and given her personality, she would probably be one of those super popular bloggers who everyone reads.

Anyway, the pictures reminded me that I'm not the only one going through this constant struggle for a goal that may never be reached. My mother had weight as one of the huge issues of her life too, and so do many other people out there.

So how do I end this cycle of dieting for myself? How do I go from hoping to achieve a goal to finally getting there and staying there? I've gotten to my goal once - I was down to 125 pounds in 1993 when my step-father died, but a year later I had put 15 pounds back on and then I added 10 more, and then over time I've ballooned to the weight I'm at now.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life trying and failing to lose weight. I don't want to keep thinking about what I could be and hating what I am. So, even though it sounds an awful lot like the words I read in that journal from 14 years ago, I'm going to come out and say it, because I know I have the tools to make it happen this time.

2010 is going to be the year I finally reach my weight goal, and I'm going to stay there once I get there.

I really do have the tools to succeed, too. I have sparkpeople to help me make sure I don't eat too much. I have a treadmill, an exercise bike, exercise videos on Netflix to help me get exercise. And most of all, I have support, in the form of my fantastic fiance, J. He's starting his own weight loss struggle today, too. He'll help me stop eating when I'm at my calorie limit for the day. He'll tell me he can see the weight coming off, and that I'm looking great. He'll love me no matter what. (And I'll do the same for him, of course.)

So here we are. A new year, a new start, and this is going to be the year I make it! I'll list my starting figures in the left column over there, so you can see where I'm at right now. In the future I plan on recording my weight here once a week - I'm starting on Monday, so let's say I'll give my new weight every Monday. I also took my measurements today - they'll be in the left column, too. I'm only going to update those once a month, though - look for them on the last day of every month.

Are you starting a new diet this month, too? We can do this! This is our year. :)