I Survived!

I survived! Well of course, you all knew I would. I knew I would, too, really, but that doesn't mean I was looking forward to the experience.

So I left work just before 4:00 and drove across campus to the Wellness Center. I walked in, feeling that lazy, scared part of my brain yelling to "run away! Danger, danger, run!" But I ignored it. I went in and met the trainer, then went into the locker room (very clean - I was impressed) and changed into my workout clothes. And then the fun began.

We started with a weight and height (I'm still 5'3", and my weight was 230 so yeah, all that junk food I've been eating has given me the expected weight gain). Then he took me over to this nifty little machine that I had to stand on barefooted, and it gave my body fat percentage somehow. I have no idea how it works, but it was cool. I was expecting calipers and fat pinching, but this was much less mortifying. The number was as horrible as I'd feared, though - my body is currently 44% fat. Eek! Wow, it's a good thing I'm starting this program.

Then he took measurements - biceps, waist, hips, thighs and calves. I don't know what the numbers were, so I think I'll take my own measurements and use those for this record. After that we went to the area where the treadmill is that is used for the stress test. I had to take off my shirt (I was wearing a sports bra, though, so didn't feel at all naked), and he attached electrodes to me. He took my blood pressure. He monitored my heart at a resting rate. And then I stood on the treadmill and he gave me this apparatus that I had to put in my mouth, so that the machines could monitor my breathing and gases and all that. (That thing sucks, by the way.) And then the fun began! The treadmill started at a nice walk, and went up from there. I made it to the middle of the third stage and then I had to have him stop it. I am so out of shape! It's really scary. (And another good reason to be grateful I'm starting this program.)

After I had gotten my heart rate down to normal and sat drinking some water and cooling off for a few minutes, he unhooked me from all the electrodes, and I was able to put my shirt back on, and we went to test my strength.

I have no upper body strength. I knew that, though. My legs, though, are pretty strong! At least, since I don't work out, I was happy with how they performed. I was able to do 10 of one kind of exercise, 12 of another (with the weights set at 115), and on the machine that works your thighs and butt, I was able to lift 290 pounds six times. At least part of me is strong!

Once the strength tests were over, he tested my flexibility (I'm not very flexible), and I was done. Woo!

He had three of those orientations to do yesterday, so he said he would have my workout plan for me on Friday, and I could spend some time studying it and start working out on Monday. I have to admit - I was a little relieved to have the rest of the week off, instead of having to start working out today. :)

So that was it! Whew! Thanks for giving me encouragement in the comments - I feel like those of you who read and comment will help me keep going when all of this exercising gets underway and I get tired of doing it. So, thanks. :)

Edited because: I had the trainer send me the measurements he took of me last night, and I just got them in my e-mail. I'll post them in the sidebar. I figured that was easier than trying to take my own.

Nervous

Today is the day! I didn't expect to write in here this morning, but I got up so nervous about today that I just find myself needing to.

I don't know why I'm nervous. I'm a little afraid of finding out exactly how bad my numbers are - weight, fat percentage, measurements, all of it. I'm a little nervous about being in a gym environment, because I've never really gone to a gym before - I've always worked out to videos in the privacy of my own home. So a fear of the unknown is here, for sure. But I've been told it's a very non-judgmental place, so I don't have to be afraid of people watching me with derision in their eyes.

Above all of it, though, I think there might be some trepidation because now I have to find out if I can really do this. It feels like this is the time where I'll really be giving it my all, and what if I don't succeed?

But that's not a good attitude, and the thing is, I know I can lose weight successfully - I've done it before. It's just that I was almost 20 years younger then. :P I lost 40 pounds when I was in 22, and kept most of that off until I was in my late 20s, then life got rougher, and the weight crept back on.

So yes, I can do this! I don't have to be this size for the rest of my life, I don't have to develop heart disease and diabetes like my Mom did, and I can live a long, healthy life.

Okay, pep talk over. Thanks for listening! I'll be back tomorrow with news of how tonight went!

Back on the Horse

I started keeping track of my food on Spark People again. I stopped doing it all those months ago because I just couldn't bear to have to account for every single piece of food I put into my mouth anymore. I had done it for so long with no real results, that I had gotten completely fed up with it all. So I quit. Well, now I'm back to it, and it feels oddly good - I guess I took just enough time off.

And of course I'm starting to count calories again today because I have my stress test/orientation at the Wellness Center tomorrow afternoon. Woo! This is both a good thing and a very scary thing, but mostly I just feel excited to finally get this underway, and to finally feel like the tools to losing this weight once and for all are in my grasp. Time will tell, but I feel like this is something I can succeed at. I'll have a trainer pushing me, I'll have coworkers working out with me, I can't just decide I don't want to and stop. It's a good thing.

I even had a talk with my body this morning, while I was in the shower. :) I told it I was going to start eating less and eating better again, and that I was going to start working out 3-5 days a week (I think I can do three days a week at the Wellness Center, so I plan on working out at home the other two days, so that I'm getting cardio exercise five days a week - the weights I'll just do at the Wellness Center on Monday, Wednesday and Friday), and that I needed it to do its part by burning off its fat and building up its muscle, including my heart. I need that to be healthy and strong, so I can live a really long time.

Oh, and J and I finally set a wedding date! We're getting married September 10, 2011 (so, 9/10/11, which has to be one of the best wedding dates ever). Spark People's website estimated I should be at my goal weight of 140 (although I might shoot for 135 - we'll see how I feel when I get close) in June of 2011, so by the time I get married, I should be at goal and loving my body again! It's very exciting.

I don't know if I'll post in here tomorrow when I'm done with the stress test or not. It's scheduled to run 4:00-6:00, and I'm not too good at doing online stuff at home, so I may not write again until Wednesday morning. But either way, the next time I write, I'll be telling how it went and giving my scary, oh so frightening beginning numbers.

See you then!

Orientation/Stress Test Date!

It took a long time, and I felt like I had to jump through a million hoops to get here, but I finally got my doctor to sign the forms for me to join the Wellness Center at work - I go to her office this afternoon to pick them up. I contacted the trainer, and the first appointment he had open for the orientation/stress test appointment was August 10th. So two weeks from this afternoon, I'll be there for two hours, getting my fat, flexibility and strength measured, as well as having my cardiovascular health tested. Fun! Or not, but it's the next hurdle, and the last one before I'll be able to start working out regularly.

So now I'm feeling an odd mix of emotions. I'm a little scared of the first visit - the words "stress test" are a bit scary for a fat, out of shape girl. And it'll be very embarrassing to have my fat measured. Blah. But on the other hand, I'm looking forward to starting to be more active and losing this fat. I want to be in better shape! Thankfully, for now the part of me that is looking forward to being in better shape is outweighing the part that is scared of that first visit (and of the work of exercising).

I'm thinking I'll post my numbers here when I start, and then again whenever he takes new measurements. I'm going to hate those first numbers, but I can't wait to see them go down!

I got the results of the blood test I had taken for this, too. First the good news: I'm not diabetic! My glucose was normal. My mother was diabetic, so this is always a very real fear for me.

Now the bad news: my cholesterol wasn't as good as my glucose! My total number was 222, my HDL is 47, my LDL is 150 and my triglycerides are 125. So my good cholesterol is too low, my bad cholesterol is too high and my triglycerides are somehow normal. I'm not sure how that is. (I looked online for what normal ranges were, because I had no idea.)

Two more weeks! Then I'll be in here complaining about how sore I am. :)

There Will Be Blood...but First, Lots of Water

Just a short update to say the idea of joining the Wellness Center is becoming a reality! I just finally managed to get an appointment with the doctor's office this morning to get my blood drawn. My veins are hard to find, so I drank 24 ounces of water between 6:30 and 7:15 this morning. By the time I got to the doctor's office my bladder was about to burst, but they got my blood, so all is well!

Now I just have to wait for the blood test results, and for my doctor to sign the papers and get them back to me. At this point I'm figuring it'll be August before I get started, but it is coming!

New Plan

Long time no write, huh? I haven't been in here lately because nothing has changed. I didn't stick with my June challenge for even a day. I've roller skated, but that's ending, because we have things going on in July that will mean we can't use the gym. I'm eating whatever the heck I want. Nothing is changing.

But there is hope. Since I'm realizing that I just can't do this on my own, I'm thinking that in July I'm going to sign up for the wellness center here at work. My workplace reimburses us for half of the money for joining as long as we workout for at least an hour a week, and this place is ridiculously cheap anyway.

Here's how it works. I sign up for a stress test and orientation, which will cost me $25. I'll get evaluated by a trainer, and he'll show me what I need to work on and we'll talk about what my goals are. Then he comes up with a workout plan for me. For this stress test, I have to have clearance from my doctor, but that shouldn't be a problem.

Then, for the first couple of weeks or so he sticks with me while I workout, showing me how to use the various machines and proper form and all that. After that I workout on my own, but he's always around, apparently.

After that initial stress test, it's a ridiculously low fee of $15 a month. So cheap! And once I get half of that back, I'm only paying $7.50 to workout with a personal trainer for a month! Crazy, but true.

So I'm signing up starting in July. I'm hoping to arrange the stress test for either July 6th or 13th (he does them on Tuesdays), and then I would like to workout an hour a day, three or four days a week. They have you work on cardio and also with weights, so it'll be a great all over workout. I'll tell you more about it in July as I get started.

I hate working out, but I like having hope that I will actually start to change myself soon. :)

30 Days of June

Today is June 2nd! I should have written yesterday, because I thought yesterday morning that I should do a 30 day challenge in June, since it has exactly 30 days, and the month started on the first day back to work after the Memorial Day weekend, so it just seemed fitting. But I wasn't sure.

I got here yesterday, and I just wasn't sure if I wanted to commit to being good for the month. But you know what? If I won't commit to making myself healthier, who will? So here I am.

This month I am challenging myself to do the following:

1. Not overeat
2. Avoid the chocolate here at work
3. Roller skate at least three days a week (four is preferable)
4. Start doing the 30 Day Shred on non-roller skating days, once I get it (which won't be until the middle of the month)

That's it, but it's basically everything I need to do. I'm not counting calories, I'm not putting any foods off-limits. Even chocolate isn't off-limits, except for that bowl of it up front, because once I go up there, I don't just leave with one piece, I leave with five or six or eight, and that's way too much. But if I pick up a candy bar at the grocery store and eat it, that's fine, as long as I don't eat too much overall that day.

Also, I'm going to start watching Losing it with Jillian, because in watching the first 10 minutes of watching the premiere online, I got the motivation to actually do this challenge this month. If I watch it every week, then hopefully I'll have fresh motivation every week, just as I'm starting to give up.

Here's to a good June, and a slightly healthier July!