Thanks for the Tips!

Okay, the consensus seems to be - keep the bad food out of the house, idiot. :) That's a good tip! I still have to work on this issue, though. Sure I have Halloween candy now, and that's something that isn't normally there. And it's easy to keep chips and candy out of the house - I don't normally have those things in the house at all. But when I'm in one of those mindless, must eat to fill the void kind of moods, it doesn't really matter what's there, I'll find something to snack on. Crackers, dry cereal, the healthy snacks I buy for work - it'll all find its way down my gaping maw. So I still need to find something to stop me from eating when I'm lonely and bored.

And now that I think about it, the most logical idea seems to be just doing something to stop myself from being bored! Shoot, I need to get working on crafts, anyway. I have a baby blanket to finish (the baby is six months old now! I officially suck as a homemade gift giver, and I'm sorry Sarah). I want to at some point advance my knitting skills and attempt to make socks and a sweater for myself. If I am getting bored watching TV and playing the Sims (the two things I do most often when I'm alone), then I can just, oh I don't know, shut those things off and read a book! Duh.

Anyway. I'll continue to work on that, and thanks for your helpful tips.

Oh, and as for work - I don't really worry about what's brought in to work. The kitchen is at the opposite end of the office from me, and I only go in there twice a day to fill my water bottle. I try to just avoid the counter where the snacks are, telling myself no over and over if it's something I really like, just get my water and go. Once it's out of my sight, I stop thinking about it, and can avoid eating it. It's really just at home that I have problems. :)

A Problem That Needs Fixing

I have a problem that I really need to work on. When I'm at home alone at night, I eat WAY too much.

I know what's happening when I do it. I know that when I go to the kitchen again, or open up that bag of Halloween candy to take out a Kit-Kat again, that I'm not doing those things because I'm hungry. I'm doing them because I'm lonely, I'm bored, and I'm eating to fill a void. I know it's wrong when I'm doing it, but I'm not often strong enough to stop myself.

This is something I have to get control of. Jim works at a job that requires him to be away at night more often than we like. I spend a fair number of evenings alone, and even a fair amount of weekend time alone.

So, when I get lonely and bored and am wishing he were there, but he's not and not going to be, how do I stop myself from heading to the kitchen again? How do I stop myself from eating too much? How do I convince myself that a belly stuffed full of unnecessary calories isn't going to make me any less lonely until Jim comes home to me?

Thankfully, I won't have to figure that out tonight. Jim will be home for the first night all week, yay! I can't wait to see him again (I haven't seen him at all since Sunday night). I definitely need to figure out something for the future, though, and I'll take any advice you have!

Weighing in with Pictures!

I'm just not feeling like myself today. Three of my friends from work seem to feel the say way. I can't quite pin down why - can you?



Hee. :) I've never dressed up this much for Halloween - not as an adult, anyway. It's fun!

Anyway. I weighed in today! My period isn't quite done screwing with me, but I lost a little bit. Today I weighed 221.25, half a pound smaller than I was two weeks ago. It's not much, but I'll take it. If the water weight is still lurking on me the way I think it is, I might show a bigger difference next week. We'll see.

But at least it's progress, so woo!

So I Told My Uterus...

I have been planning on writing here since Friday, but hadn't gotten around to it yet. And then I just got a comment from Deals telling me to UPDATE, UPDATE! So here I am. Poking at me works! :)

I don't have a weight update for you yet, though! Since I am pretty sure all of my readers are female, I believe you'll all understand me when I say the following: my period was due on Wednesday. It hasn't shown up yet, but the PMS and bloating all arrived right on time, a WEEK ago, so yeah. I'm not stepping on the scale right now. Things need to go back to normal first.

(I did step on the scale Friday morning, with it set on my weight from the week before, but it said that wasn't nearly heavy enough, thank you very much, you need to slide that weight over to the right more. And then some more. And then some more again. So I stepped off the scale and told it to go fuck itself. Then I remembered that my period was overdue, so I told my uterus to go fuck itself, too. :)

So, I'm not weighing in, but all is well! Don't you worry. :)

Accountability Works!

I weighed in this morning at 221.75 - three pounds less than last week! Woo! Look at that, being accountable actually works. :)

Confession time, though: I was really only good on Wednesday and Thursday. I spent the weekend (a three day weekend) with Jim, not caring to be good when I was spending time with him and eating delicious burgers two days in a row. And I spent Tuesday eating bad at lunch and then at home after work. But I cleaned it up the last two days, and my body did the rest. And actually, those last two days, the thought of having to report in here is all that kept me from being bad again. Thanks for being out there to watch over me, all four or five of you. Next week I'm shooting to be good at least four out of the seven days. (I'll work up to a whole week of being good, I swear.)

But hey, three pounds down, and I'll take it. My goal for next week is to lose another two or three pounds. I'll let you know if it happens!

Reinstating Weigh-Ins

So, I have come to a conclusion, and I think it's one I've reached on this site before, but sometimes I have to learn things twice (or even more often than that).

I need accountability.

What does this mean? It means I need to start weighing in with someone. And since I'm not going to Weight Watchers or Nutri-System or any paid weight loss program, I'm going to weigh in to you. You can be my watchers, the people I need to not let down every week - the people holding me accountable.

Why have I decided this? Because I've been going to the gym for about two months now. I've felt myself getting a little bit stronger every time. I can feel my muscles tightening up in my abs and my thighs. I have one pair of work pants that feel noticeably looser right under my butt (which feels like a weird place to notice a difference, but I assume it's from doing the elliptical three times a week). But my weight? Hasn't changed nearly enough.

When I started at the gym, my trainer there weighed me at 230 pounds. That was in the afternoon, dressed in gym clothes, so my at home, in the morning, naked weight was probably about 228 or so. That's what I'll figure. My weight this morning? 224 3/4.

A 3 1/4 pound weight loss in two months is NOT ACCEPTABLE! I started this thing with 13 months to go until my wedding BBQ picnic, and now there are only 11 months. Time is slipping by, and I'm not doing the work I need to do to get into those size 8 Levi's (what I want to wear when I get married). So the work (well, the food work) starts now.

I hereby pledge to be here every Friday morning, weighing in. If I don't lose, I'll be honest and tell you if I haven't done well on food. You can feel free to chastise me, and I'll do better the next week. My wedding day is 11 months from Sunday. I can do it, and you can keep me honest and help me get there! :)

Not Much To Share

No entries for a while - I guess I haven't had anything to say. I had an entry idea kicking around in my head a week or two ago, but I didn't have time to work on it. It was about how it seems like I get hot easier now? And I'm not sure if that's a result of starting to workout, or if I'm approaching menopause age (41, not too young), or what. And then the weather cooled down to the 50s, and I stopped getting sweaty just walking around, so that idea isn't even pertinent anymore. :)

Things are coasting along pretty well, I guess. I have been horrible with my food - eating a ton of junk that I don't need. I've kept up the exercising, though. I couldn't go to the gym on Monday, because I forgot to put socks in my gym bag (I thought I would be wearing a pair, but then I wore flats that don't require socks), and I can't workout without socks, eww, gross. But I went home and used our treadmill, which sucks so I only did 11 minutes on it, and then I finished my time on the exercise bike. So at least I did still get my heart rate up and made myself sweat. I need to find my strength for the food, though. The junk has to go.

Really, what I need to do is make myself use the Spark People site again. I haven't been doing that, because I'm so sick of recording every little thing I eat. I might need to just suck it up, though.

I also need to start working out on Tuesdays and Thursdays at home. I haven't done that at all yet. I'm kind of ashamed of myself. (And that is why going to the gym the other three days is so important.)

So that's all the diet and exercise news I have to share, and it's really not much. :) Other than that, life is going fine, I guess. Work isn't being fun, and I really think I missed my calling in life big time. I should be working as a veterinary technician, or at least working in a vet office in some capacity. Animals are my passion - what I'm doing now isn't really even an interest. So that's something to work on changing in the future. For now, though, I feel kind of stuck where I am. I keep telling myself that I'm lucky to have a job. That makes me feel better sometimes (just not on those bad days).

Okay, boring entry over. Now you probably wish I'd stayed silent. :)